Introducing Lucy Caboosey
by lucillequinnfabray
Summary: A new take on the Lucy Caboosey storyline from Quinn's POV.


My childhood was perfect. Well, as perfect as it could be in the Fabray family. I got anything I could ask for, I was popular, I was daddy's little girl, and I was adorable. I had the same soft, blonde hair I had now and creamy porcelain skin… I was even the Swan Queen in my ballet recital! So, why am I standing here with "Lucy Caboosey" sprawled across my chest in big black letters while the entire school thinks I was a complete outcast as a kid?

Two words: Lauren Zizes.

It all started when I saw one of her posters in the hallway. "Zizes for Prom Queen" … _Seriously_? At first, I thought it was some cruel joke; I thought some jock was playing a prank on her so she'd be humiliated in front of the entirety of William McKinley High School, but then I saw how everyone was reacting to it… They _liked_ her. They could _relate_ to her. She was one of them! I should've seen it coming. I mean, she's the everyman - that one person that the majority of the school can identify with, because none of them are typically beautiful and popular like me. I could _literally_ feel the votes slipping from my grasp.

I just can't lose, you know? I'm Quinn Fabray: a legacy. My sister was Prom Queen, my mother was Prom Queen, _her_ mother was Prom Queen… That tiara is meant to be _mine_, and I've disappointed my family so much that I'm _not_ going to let them all down again. So, do you really think I was about to let some Twifreak pop out of the woodwork and steal _my_ votes and usurp _my_ throne? No way in Hell. I had to think of something, and I had to do it fast.

Then it hit me like a bright red slushie hits a Gleek about twice a day: what does everyone like better than a leader who's just like them? No, not celebrity babies… though I bet you if I got pregnant with Justin Beiber's love child, I'd be a lock for queen, no matter who ran against me… But no. Something different.

_A success story. _

People eat it up when someone just like them beats the odds and comes out on top. That's why that dumb story about the ugly duckling and crazy makeover shows are so popular! You hear about some poor, unfortunate person who somehow overcomes every obstacle and makes it in life, and you think_ "Wow… that's so inspirational! I could do it too!" _If I wanted to get my votes back, then _that's_ what I had to give my peers: an inspirational ugly duckling story. That was the only thing that could overpower what Lauren had going for her.

Now, I know what you're saying. "But Quinn, you didn't set the thing up. Zizes dug into your past and put up the Lucy poster to humiliate you!" And you know what I'd say? "I think it's adorable that you think I'd let it be that easy for someone to potentially ruin the reputation I've worked so hard to build." Don't you think it was a _little_ too easy for her to discover everything? Or didn't you notice how the poster was up in the hallway, with "my" old nickname on it… _before_ I ever told her the nickname? I swear, people are so easy…

All it took to get the ball rolling was one conversation:

"Puck, what do you say to forging some documents and doing a little breaking an entering?"

"Hell yeah!"

If Zizes thought he wouldn't ultimately side with the mother of his child, she was insane. With very little convincing, he took me to his fake ID guy, and I got all sorts of school records faked. Not to mention, a horrible photoshopped picture of me looking like a fattie with glasses, acne, and braces. I thought I'd have nightmares after seeing that thing. My father never would've taken that little girl into public, let alone, held her so fondly as she slept on his lap at a baseball game… Thank God I was not born that way.

Anyway, Puck helped me plant all the evidence everywhere Lauren would look. Files about my transfer (which was the perfect springing board for this entire story of my past life), my old school records - everything. Then he went right back to his girlfriend and helped her "discover" the shocking truth about Quinn Fabray so they could take me down and win her that tiara. He even made those hideous posters of me that Lauren put up around the school. Ergo… Lucy Caboosey, because I was sitting right next to him when he made the stupid things.

Zizes thought she had me _just_ where she wanted me, but she never had any idea she was playing right into the palm of my hand. I threw in some scared, hurt, sad, and freaked out expressions (I should get a Golden Globe, really), and tossed in some cliche story that I've seen on TV about a million times, and she believed every single word. And so did everyone else.

I'll admit it — I was a little worried, at first, when everyone didn't immediately seem to be Team Lucy, but then it happened. Those same girls who wanted Lauren the other day said _I_ had their votes, and I went up 40% in the polls for Prom Queen! I had won the battle! My competition was crushed and I was on top just as I was always meant to be. Another perk? My boyfriend was telling me I was beautiful instead of fawning over Rachel Berry. Sometimes I even amaze myself when it comes to my skills of mass manipulation…

Lucy Caboosey - you're the best campaign strategy a girl could ever ask for.


End file.
